Why Wholly Happy?

I have been battling with how to start out this blog but I suppose the most logical first post would be why I decided to call my blog “WhollyHappy”, what that means, and what my blog is about. That sounds like a topic I would have chosen to make a speech about in a public speaking course, but here goes.

“WhollyHappy” is a play on words. Happiness is a goal for most people and this blog’s focus will be on using holistic methods in order to be happy. If anyone has decided to settle with being content or comfortable, they are really missing out. Of course, I am working on my own journey so my plan is to share my process as well as my stumbles.

We are all imperfect people and coming to that conclusion is incredibly important. I think it’s easy to say that we are imperfect but most of us set such high standards for ourselves and for others. We hold grudges and either don’t know how the meaning of forgiveness or refuse to forgive others as well as ourselves. We wait until we have serious health conditions to see a doctor. The rates of obesity, high-blood pressure, domestic violence, teenage pregnancy, divorce, addiction, etc. are so high in the US (I haven’t done as much research for the rates in other countries but I can assume that they’re not negligible) and I wonder how much those topics have to do with a largely unhappy population. This all causes me to wonder why people don’t strive to be happy? Is it because we have never been taught? Is it because we don’t think we’re worth it? Are we depending on other people to make us happy? This article found on Beliefnet, explains a little bit about why people choose to remain unhappy.

My goal is not to “force” people into happiness because I understand that many people out there are “happy” where they are. However, a while ago, I reached a point in my life that helped me to realize that even though I felt comfortable where I was, I wasn’t happy. I had a list of people that I hadn’t been able to forgive and my own name was on the top of that list. My social anxiety prevents me from making new friends and starting conversations with people I don’t know. I start fights with my husband and tend to take things far too personally. I was feeling stressed and I wasn’t taking care of myself. I had a list of goals that I wanted to accomplish because I thought that eventually it would lead me to happiness. If I made enough money, if I was doing what I wanted to do for a living, if I had children, got married, had a dog, and a nice house — maybe then I would be happy. I got married and the wedding was amazing, the honeymoon was relaxing, but the marriage alone did not bring me the happiness I had expected. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and he does everything he can to make sure that I am happy, but I had developed such high expectations about living “happily ever after” that the fact that I wasn’t living a fairy tale once I got married was a let-down. It was then that I decided that depending on my husband for my happiness is selfish and it’s an awful big burden. He is not responsible for my happiness, I am.

No one person or thing is responsible for our happiness. We control our own lives, our own emotions, and for the most part, our own futures. If you’re okay with just settling with being comfortable then that’s okay and I hope that it makes you happy. I hope that I can rope some people in on my journey but I have lowered my expectations.

Happiness is subjective; meaning each person determines their own happiness. For a homeless man, happiness could be having a home he can call his own. For a drug addict or alcoholic, happiness could be living without the constant struggle of addiction. For me, happiness is a choice. I’ve never been homeless or been addicted to drugs but I know people who have. I’ve had my own set of struggles and I do not mean to undermine anyone’s individual struggles. I just know that I’ve made the choice to be happy and I hope that my blog will inspire others to do the same no matter what position you’re in.

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