PSA: Victim-blaming is when a victim is blamed for some transgression or crime that happened to them.
For example: “She was asking to get raped because she was dressed like a slut”
This example illustrates the use of victim-blaming to place the woman partially (or even fully) to blame because she was dressed provocatively. It simultaneously sends the message that men have no self-control when they see some skin on a woman and turn into some sex-crazed maniacs (never mind that rape is about power and control and not really about sex).
However, it is also victim-blaming to tell someone that they are being “too sensitive” or a “sissy” when they are offended/triggered by something.
Essentially, by doing that you are blaming them (the victim) for being offended/triggered rather than taking accountability for your behavior. Much like victim-blaming a raped woman takes the focus off of the rapists’ behavior, victim-blaming an offended/triggered person takes the focus off the person who said or did something offensive/triggering.
Those who are offended/triggered are NOT in the wrong. They are the victims. Demanding that they “toughen up” is psychologically damaging. The only way to not be offended or triggered by something, is to build a wall against it and detach from the word. It’s like demanding that a veteran with PTSD not be triggered by whatever they’re triggered by. It’s not that simple. So, instead of making that very selfish demand, why don’t you consider ways to express yourself without being offensive? It’s really not that difficult. Start here: http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/alternatives-to-oppressive-language/
And don’t think of it as not being “allowed” to say certain things. It’s not about you. It’s not up for you to say what should offend other people or not. So, if someone tells you that something you’ve said is offensive, take a second to consider what they’re saying, APOLOGIZE, and do better next time.
In return, it may help you to develop some empathy for people. Look up why that word might be offensive to them (because no one is obligated to teach you why what you’ve said is offensive). I actually feel better about myself when I’m not tearing other people down. It builds self-confidence to be considerate about other people. If you can give others grace and think about your words before you utter them, then you can do the same thing for yourself. Consider that.